Something’s got to give

So it is after midnight and I have just sat down for the first bit of time for myself today.  Except of course it is technically the next day, so I have actually been through 24 hours with no time to do anything that is on my own personal agenda.  And I’m not talking about anything too ambitious here.  I just need to respond to a few emails and messages, look into buying trainers for the kids online and do my online food shopping.  It seems a little bit sad to call that time for myself…  I would also really like to write more.  There are a few things the kids have been up to that I would like to blog, if only I could find the time.

I’ve been thinking over the last week or two about the fact that I am hopelessly overbooked at the moment, committed to far too many things and I just know that it isn’t going to work.  So I know that I need to cancel some things, or I will just be horribly stressed and certainly not a fun mummy.  The only problem is what to cancel.  There is such a complex net of obligations it is hard to untangle.  If I cancel this I will let that person down.  If I don’t do that, some of the children will be disappointed, though not all of them.  Should I choose on the basis of which I will feel most guilty about not doing, or try to use common sense about what will work best for the majority.  Or should I just cancel everything for the sake of my sanity?  I’m almost at that point.

I’ve been feeling run down and picking up whatever is going around for a week or two, permanently tired and knowing that I’m not doing anything very well because I am trying to do everything.  So I know things have to change.  And today I’ve been asked for help by someone who really needs it, right now and maybe for some time depending how things pan out.  I really want to help and I think I can.  Instead of making me panic about having something else to fit in, it is making me realise that sometimes you just have to prioritise what is most important and let other things go.  I’m not looking forward to contacting people and letting them know I can’t do the things I said I would.  But I feel quite calm about it, and a little bit more in control than I’ve been for a while.  And if I manage to help the person I really want to help, it will definitely have been worth it.

6 thoughts on “Something’s got to give

  1. Julia Kilvington

    Awwww I so know this feeling…. Im kind of there atm myself with lots of things Ive committed to but with having a health nose dive Ive had to say sorry, but no to a lot of people. At the end of the day we have to put ourselves and our families first as like you say…an overworked/stressed mammy makes for an unhappy family….. Im sure you will make the right decision about who to cancel and if nothing else regain your sanity and hopefully improve your health which is paramount….big hugs xx

  2. jo

    Aw, I know that feeling, though I’m imagining it’ll be so much more for you. I’m also awful at cancelling things and try and do everything until my body tells me to stop (usually through being ill) – look after yourself, that’s the most important thing. Hopefully some things can wait – and hopefully things will quieten down a bit for you xx

  3. Samia Khalaf Tossio

    When I feel these moments coming on…having experienced many times exactly what you say and expressed myself oh so dramatically (er, move out of my way)…I tend..nowadays.. to just STOP, sit, breathe, wonder at the miracles of Nature, thank God, read a book or shake yer tamboooo-rine…I TAKE MY TIME…everything will still be there when I get to it but my state of mind – ego – will have been calmed by the space created by my heart and soul. I just prefer to laugh and smile about it…coz that feels better…I still accomplish everything that really NEEDS to be done. Take YOUR time. Prioritise. Let a few things go..stay home..switch off the tech for a few a movie – Mystery, Alaska is a great movie I recently watched – have an Epsom Salts bath…Kids are resilient. Friends are resilient. You sound like you need to be resilient too 🙂 Love, hugs and empathy…:-)

  4. rossmountney

    Aw! This so resonated with me, as I’m sure it will with many mums. Over committing to so many things is the curse of mumhood – I remember it well especially as we home schooled and had the children at home full time, A delight – but a heck of a commitment too! The trouble is, when we get to this pitch, it can often be the most important things that get neglected. I’m not only talking about time to nestle with your kids – as well as be busy with them – but also time to ‘nestle’ yourself too. Some down time, where you don’t have to prove anything, be anything to anyone, just be with yourself – very important in order to generate something to write! I do remember frustration at not being able to get threads for writing down on paper because they were unravelled by little children before I got to the pen. Now my last home schooler has moved onto Uni there’s a vacancy in the house that’s equally as scary as an empty page!
    It’s all or nothing with motherhood – hope you manage to find some balance! BWs. x

  5. caterpillartales

    Thank you for all the encouraging comments. I suspect it will always be a bit like this, and really I wouldn’t have it any other way, but we have cancelled some things so the pace is a little less hectic. We are all still suffering with colds and sore throats though, so I know I need to be careful to keep plans to a minimum for now.


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