So it is after midnight and I have just sat down for the first bit of time for myself today. Except of course it is technically the next day, so I have actually been through 24 hours with no time to do anything that is on my own personal agenda. And I’m not talking about anything too ambitious here. I just need to respond to a few emails and messages, look into buying trainers for the kids online and do my online food shopping. It seems a little bit sad to call that time for myself… I would also really like to write more. There are a few things the kids have been up to that I would like to blog, if only I could find the time.
I’ve been thinking over the last week or two about the fact that I am hopelessly overbooked at the moment, committed to far too many things and I just know that it isn’t going to work. So I know that I need to cancel some things, or I will just be horribly stressed and certainly not a fun mummy. The only problem is what to cancel. There is such a complex net of obligations it is hard to untangle. If I cancel this I will let that person down. If I don’t do that, some of the children will be disappointed, though not all of them. Should I choose on the basis of which I will feel most guilty about not doing, or try to use common sense about what will work best for the majority. Or should I just cancel everything for the sake of my sanity? I’m almost at that point.
I’ve been feeling run down and picking up whatever is going around for a week or two, permanently tired and knowing that I’m not doing anything very well because I am trying to do everything. So I know things have to change. And today I’ve been asked for help by someone who really needs it, right now and maybe for some time depending how things pan out. I really want to help and I think I can. Instead of making me panic about having something else to fit in, it is making me realise that sometimes you just have to prioritise what is most important and let other things go. I’m not looking forward to contacting people and letting them know I can’t do the things I said I would. But I feel quite calm about it, and a little bit more in control than I’ve been for a while. And if I manage to help the person I really want to help, it will definitely have been worth it.